Four Fun Games For Amusement
by MagenKyotenChiten
Summary: What happens when the Naruto gang are bored on a friday night and decided to play four fun games? The Sexual Harrassment Bear, Seduction, & Victoria's Secret Shopping are involved. But more unexpected fun is to come!
1. Shopping At Victoria's Secret

**Four Fun Games For Amusement – A Random Story**

**By MagenKyotenChiten**

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Naruto. If I did, I would be a millionaire and make Itachi a good guy!

**Summary:** Some OCNESS. What happens when Sakura, Sasuke, Naruto, Ino, Shikamaru, Choji, Tenten, Neji, Lee, Kiba, Hinata, Shino, Gaara, Temari, and Kankuro, are bored on a Friday Night and decided to play 4 games fun games: Truth or Dare, Spin The Bottle, Seven Minutes in Heaven, and M.A.S.H for amusement. But things start to get out of control...

**a/n:** My second Naruto fanficton! No Darkness, No Tragedies, Just Humor in this story! I hope you like it.

Oh Yeah, Sasuke in this story does not betray Konoha and go with Orochimaru.

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Four Fun Games For Amusement Chapter 1: Truth or Dare, Part 1 

It was a hot Friday night, while the Naruto gang was at Sakura's house to watch a movie. But things were not going well.

Naruto was screaming, "Work! Damn it! Stupid fucking VCR! Sakura-Chan, You should have bought a DVD player they work SO much better." while shaking Sakura's VCR VERY hard.

Sasuke was very annoyed with Naruto. His stoic face had a vein popping out in annoyance. "Dobe. Your probably doing it all wrong and don't know how operate it."

Kiba and Akamaru were also very annoyed with Naruto, So was Neji, who looked like he was going to explode. For once they agreed with Sasuke.

And so, the all three of them tries to take the VCR away from Naruto, all of them squabbling like a bunch of chickens over Sakura's VCR, with Tenten looking at them, shaking her at them.

"Idiots. She thought.

Chouji was pigging out and raiding Sakura's fridge. "Yummy! Sakura, this miso soup is so good! So is the sushi, pizza, lasagna, garlic bread, cheesecake, Dango, Udon, Ramen, Soba, Tempura, Korokke, Okonomiyaki, Omu-Soba, Yakisoba, Fried Chicken, Onigiri, Sashimi..."

Pretty soon, there would be nothing left to eat in Sakura's fridge.

Shikamaru was just sitting in the middle of the couch, looking very bored. He sighed, thinking " Feh. So troublesome."

On of the side of Couch, Ino was sitting next Shikamaru, who was glaring at Temari, who was sitting on the other side of Shikamaru. Temari was glaring right back. Both of them were fighting over Shikamaru. There was electricity between both of them, each poised for a Catfight, Claws out, over the man that they both loved. Both prepared not to lose. With Kankuro screaming "CATFIGHT! CATFIGHT!"

"Bitch."

"Bigger Bitch."

" Stupid Slut."

"Stupider Slut."

And so on it went...

Lee was rambling about youthfulness. Hinata was frozen in place, red in the face, looking like she was going to faint. Because Naruto said two words to her, "Hi! Hinata."

"N-NNaruto-kun." She Stutters.

Shino was just standing there, with his mysterious coat and shades, being... himself, Shino.

Then Naruto, Sasuke, Kiba, and Neji break Sakura's VCR.

And Gaara was sitting in the corner of the room, trying to mediate, with his eyebrow twitching. He couldn't meditate, because it was too damn noisy. He was very annoyed. He was on the verge on letting Shukaku out, and go on a killing spree...

When, Suddenly Sakura loses it. "STOP IT! YOU MORONS." She roars, punching a hole in the floor.

Everyone is frozen. All is silent for a moment.

"Um. Sakura, We... Neji, teme, Kiba, and I broke err... your uh. Um. VCR." Said Naruto

"Hey! Who are you calling we?" Kiba, Neji, and Sasuke ask.

"He broke it!"

"No he did!"

" It was all his fault!"

"It was dobe's fault."

Neji, Sasuke, Kiba, and Naruto all point accusing fingers at each other.

All is silent again.

Sakura bonks Neji, Sasuke, and Naruto on the Head.

She is ticked off. "You broke my VCR! You stupid dumbasses. Now what we suppose do now? We were suppose to watch Scary Movie 4 tonight!" She screams, waving the Video.

"THINK! You morons of what can we do tonight!"

All was silent again, the third time that night.

10 minutes passed...

Flies were buzzing

Then...a light bulb went off Ino's head! " I've got it. Let's play truth or dare. It's a very fun game where one player starts the game by asking another player "Truth or Dare? If the player says truth, the player who asked that player the question will ask that person an embarrassing personal question. Or if the player replies dare, the other player dares the other person do something embarrassing." She Shouts.

All is silent for the 4th time that night.

"Anyone got any better ideas?" Sakura asks?

All is silent for the 5th time that night.

" All in favor of playing truth or dare raise their right hand." Sakura tells everyone.

All 15 right hands were raised.

"That's everyone. So, we were playing truth or dare. Who goes first? " Sakura says.

" I say Naruto should go first, because he broke VCR, so we couldn't watch Scary Movie 4." Shouts Choji, spraying crumbs all over the place, while shoving lays chips in mouth.

Mummers in agreement were heard all over the room.

"B-bbbut. It was Sasuke-teme's, Neji, and Kiba's fault too." Naruto protests.

"Ok. Then Naruto going first." Ino says looking board.

" I get to ask him though, because he broke my VCR." Sakura says, an evil grin spreading over her face, clearly thinking of the most embarrassing dares or questions she gives Naruto.

Naruto gulps.

" Ok. Naruto. Truth or Dare?" Sakura says evilly, who was currently in evil inner Sakura mode.

" Dare." He bravely replies.

" Shit, I am doing the right thing? Should have I picked truth? Knowing Sakura she is going to give me a very evil, evil dare. But, maybe she won't do that because she knows how much she likes me. Hehheh hehheh. No! I'm screwed." Naruto thinks, while spazzing out inside.

"... I dare you to..." Sakura whips out a karaoke machine... "Sing along and dance with the closest person near you to the song "Every time We Touch." by Cascada.

Could things get any worst for Naruto? The closest person to Naruto was Sasuke.

Naruto tries to scoot far away from Sasuke. But Sakura isn't stupid she notices. " Naruto, nice try. But the closest person to you was Sasuke. So you're going to have to dance/seduce Sasuke." She says while cackling evilly.

" Oh God. This is going to be hell." Naruto thinks.

" Shit." Sasuke grumbles.

Everyone is sitting upright in his or her seats. They just can't wait to see this; even Gaara is watching Naruto and Sasuke intently.

Sakura turns karaoke machine on, and "Every time We Touch." By Cascada starts blaring. Naruto slowly picks up the microphone, gets closer to Sasuke, and starts to sing.

_I still hear your voice when you sleep next to me_

_I still feel your touch in my dreams _

_Forgive me my weakness but I don't know why _

_Without you it's hard to survive._

He slowly circles Sasuke with a very serious look on his face, and cups Sasuke chin, while Sasuke looks like he is going to barf. Then he jumps on a table, and starts grooving like a rock star.

_'Cause every time we touch, _

_I get this feeling, _

_And every time we kiss, _

_I swear I can fly, _

_Can't you feel my heart beat fast, _

_I want this to last, _

_Need you by my side. _

_'Cause every time we touch, _

_I feel this static, _

_And every time we kiss, _

_I reach for the sky, _

_Can't you hear my heart beat so, _

_I can't let you go, _

_Want you in my life._

He shakes his head, moves his arms, and shakes his ass to the techno music. When, the techno part is over, he goes back to being serious, and pretends to seduce Sasuke again.

_Your arms are my castles _

_Your heart is my sky _

They wipe away tears that I cry 

_The good and the bad times _

_We've been through them all _

_You make me rise when I fall_

He does hand motions of Sasuke's arms being a castle, wiping away his tears when he cries, and the good and bad times. And then again starts doing his funky dance.

_'Cause every time we touch, _

_I get this feeling, _

_And every time we kiss, _

_I swear I can fly, _

_Can't you feel my heart beat fast, _

_I want this to last, _

_Need you by my side _

_'Cause every time we touch, _

_I feel this static, _

_And every time we kiss, _

_I reach for the sky, _

_Can't you hear my heart beat so, _

_I can't let you go, _

_Want you in my life. _

Naruto's singing voice was horrible. The most disturbing part though, was when Naruto shook his ass in Sasuke's face. But Naruto's voice was way too high pitched, sometimes he just yelled into the microphone. By then everyone was laughing and crying in the room (except Sasuke and Naruto, who were just praying that this would just end.) Sakura was laughing/crying so hard that her stomach hurt. Even Shino, Neji (Neji was wiping tears from his eyes) and Gaara was laughing. I mean come On, Shino, Neji, and Gaara were LAUGHING. You don't see that everyday.

Temari snapped some pictures of them laughing, planning to sell it right on eBay, along with the other pictures she had taken of Naruto, Gaara, and Neji she had taken, while stalking all of . She also whipped out a video camera and taped Naruto singing and dancing, pretending to seduce Sasuke. She grinned. Oh, she was going to make big bucks.

You have no clue how much Gaara's, Naruto's and Neji's fan girls pay for those things. With the video of Naruto dancing and trying to seduce Sasuke, she'd make ever-bigger bucks. There were so many people who wanted Naruto and Sasuke to be together, other thought they were already gay and would think the video would be perfect evidence to show that. God, you should see how many NaruSasu Shines and disturbing fan art/images there are out there on the Internet.

_'Cause every time we touch, _

_I get this feeling, _

_And every time we kiss, _

_I swear I could fly, _

_Can't you feel my heart beat fast, _

_I want this to last, _

_Need you by my side._

Finally, the song ended, and Naruto finished singing and did a dramatic bow.

Everyone then again burst into laughter/tears.

20 minutes later...

Finally after everyone had calmed down, Sakura announced it was Naruto turn to ask someone the dreaded truth or dare.

It took Naruto some time to think of who to ask the dreaded "truth or dare."

Finally he decided on Neji. It was partly Neji's fault he had to do that stupid dare.

He spun around and pointed a finger at Neji. "Neji, I choose you!"

Everyone did an anime fall and a sweat drop. " THIS ISN'T POKEMON NARUTO!" Everyone shouted.

"Oh. Oops. Neji, truth or dare?" Naruto asked Neji

Neji gulped.

He thought it over. If he did dare, it would probably be really horrible, I mean Naruto had to dance and sing to a girl's song!

"Truth." Neji said nervously.

And then Naruto asked the question.

" Ok Neji, Is it true that you … Shop at Victoria's Secret?"

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To Be Continued...

Does Neji REALLY shop at Victoria's Secret?

We will find out next time.

a/n: I hope you guys liked it. It was a bit random. But I tried. The truth or dare arc will be a bit long, since everyone will be asked the dreaded "truth or dare"...


	2. Sexual Harrasment Panda and The Internet

**Four Fun Games For Amusement 2**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto. If I did, I would be a millionaire and make Itachi the good guy!

**Summary: **CRACK FIC. OCNESS. What happens when Sakura, Sasuke, Naruto, Ino, Shikamaru, Choji, Tenten, Neji, Lee, Kiba, Hinata, Shino, Gaara, Temari, and Kankuro, are bored on a Friday Night and decided to play 4 games fun games: Truth or Dare, Spin The Bottle, Seven Minutes in Heaven, and M.A.S.H for amusement. But things start to get out of control...

**a/n:** Very sorry about the late update. I have all this shit going on. My laptop crashed again, but now it's working. And I just came back from going with my family on a cross-country trip to drop my brother off a college.

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**Four Fun Games For Amusement **

**Chapter 2: Truth or Dare, Part 2.**

Recap:

"Oh. Oops. Neji, truth or dare?" Naruto asked Neji

Neji gulped.

He thought it over. If he did dare, it would probably be really horrible, I mean Naruto had to dance and sing to a girl's song!

"Truth." Neji said nervously

"Ok Neji, Is it true that you shop at Victoria's Secret?" Naruto asked, wickedly.

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Hearts were beating furiously.

Everyone was waiting for Neji's answer.

All eyes were on him.

Neji gulped. A vein throbbed on the side of his head. The pressure was killing him. And thoughts were racing through his mind.

"Why in the world did Naruto have to ask that question?" And how did he even know about that?" He thought.

He was very sure Naruto knew the answer to that question. But did he know? When Neji went shopping, he always went in secretly.

Neji had different tastes then the rest of the gang. He had a weakness for pink, girly things, but he would never admit that.

He knew he couldn't back out. There were consequences. Ino also mentioned anyone who refuses to do the dare or answer to truth, would have to either strip naked or be the person who asked the dare or question for truth, personal slave for a week.

Also, plus the fact that Naruto knew the answer to that question, didn't help either. Even if Neji lied, Naruto would easily open that big blabbermouth of his and tell everyone.

And just right then, Naruto yelled "Oi! Neji, hurry up and say something!" interrupting his thoughts.

Oh shucks, he might as well tell the truth. He could get the satisfaction of killing Naruto later on.

He took a deep breath and tried to clear his mind. "This wouldn't matter in destiny. It's just a small simple thing to do." He told himself.

"Well, it's true. I do shop at Victoria's Secret." Neji said.

Gasps and murmurs filled the room. Laughter did too. Kiba was holding his stomach, while laughing, trying to wipe away tears. So were Sasuke, Kankuro, and pretty much everyone else.

"S--seriously" Kiba asked Neji.

"OMG! We will have to come with him, the next time he goes shopping, to sure to that he selects the perfect clothes!" Ino told Sakura.

"Yeah. But I never thought he liked to shop at places like that." Sakura said thoughtfully.

"Neji-nisan. I never knew..." Hinata said shaking her head.

"I never knew either. I don't believe it." Tenten said disbelief.

"Oh, the youthfulness!" Lee said.

Temari was snapping pictures of Neji, planning make even bigger bucks on eBay.

Gaara was staring at Neji, at what was either amazement or disgust.

Then someone said "Hey Naruto! Why did you ask him that? And it looked like you knew the answer to the question too."

Soon, everyone in the room was pestering Naruto.

"Um, I was in Victoria's secret, one day, to pickup something for Ero-Sannin's research, and I saw Neji looking at a pink thong, then he went to the dressing rooms to go try it on, too." Naruto said, scratching the back of his head.

"How do we know, if that's true? You probably shop at Victoria's Secret, too. We want proof." Someone shouted.

"Yeah!" Screamed, everyone else.

"Hey! Hey! It's true. There's no way that the future hokage would shop there! I saw it with my own eyes, but I wondered if it was an illusion. But today, with Neji answering that question, which proves it's true. Here are pictures too!" Naruto said, throwing pictures of Neji in a pink thong in the air.

Everyone rushed to grab a picture, to either to blackmail Neji later or to sell it on eBay.

Neji face got redder and redder. "Naruto, I'm going to kill you!" he growled. "Heh. Neji, I didn't mean that. We are still best pals, right?" Naruto said carefully, before running for his life.

And Neji sprinted after Naruto.

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A little later, after everyone calmed down. It was time to start truth & dare again.

"OK. Now it's Neji's turn to pick someone." said Sakura.

Then everyone who knew they had problems or certain incidents, with Neji started prayed. What they were saying while praying was: "Dear Kami-sama, please don't let Neji pick me. If he doesn't pick me, I'll brush my teeth everyday."

Neji was satisfied. Now, he could choose anyone that ever crossed him. That sad part was he could only pick one person.

But before he could even choose that one person, he blurted out "Gaara!"

Realizing what he did, he mentally punched himself. Why the hell, did he pick Gaara?

Gaara never did anything to him.

"Wait, I take that back. I choose, Sasuke." Neji said desperately

"Too late. Once you pick a person, you've picked that person. You can't take it back. Sakura said, with an evil smile plastered on her face.

"Damn it." Neji thought.

"OK. Gaara, truth or dare?" Neji said calmly.

"Dare." Gaara said in that voice of his that really scared Neji.

He really didn't want to humiliate Gaara, since he really never did anything bad to him.

Before him before he knew it, he blurted out again "Then, I dare you to dress up in this panda costume." He whipped out a humongous panda costume.

"And dance to the Sexual Harassment Panda Song!" He continued.

"Hn. What a stupid dare." Gaara thought. He slowly put the humongous panda costume.

And soon the Sexual Panda Harassment Panda song started blaring through the speakers.

_Who lives in the east 'neath the willow tree_

_Sexual Harassment Panda!_

Gaara jumped up, but then fell down to the weight of the humongous panda costume

_Who explains sexual harassment to you and me_

_Sexual Harassment Panda!_

Gaara started prancing around with the humongous panda costume dragging him down.

_Don't say that don't touch there_

_Don't be nasty says the silly bear_

_He's come to tell you what's right and wrong_

_Sexual Harassment Panda!_

Gaara started waggling his fingers and boogied.

Everyone was currently laughing their asses off. Shino was wiping away tears underneath his shades. "He actually looks like a panda!" Said Kiba, while pointing at Gaara and laughing at him. "Yeah. He kinda does!" Naruto shouted, while laughing on the floor. Temari as usual was snapping away pictures of Gaara on her camera. She was also taping the whole thing with a video camera. She was going to be a millionaire once she released this on eBay.

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This went on for several minutes and then it finally ended. Everyone was still laughing, until Gaara gave them his famous death glare that shut everyone up.

"OK. Gaara, you pick someone." Sakura said.

"Uchiha. Truth or Dare?" He bluntly.

"Hn. Dare." Sasuke said.

"Fine. First use that." Gaara said pointing to a sleek and strange silver rectangular.

"Turn it on and go to the internet and search Naruto. And go through all the search sites." Gaara said, with an evil grin on his face.

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Sasuke did what he was told. He wondered what was so bad about it. He clicked on the first search result. Everyone huddled around him to see what was going on.

A black site with pink hearts filled the screen. There was a picture of him and Itachi in the background.

"Hey. Anosa, Anosa. Isn't that you and your brother?" Naruto said pointing to the screen.

"Shut up." Sasuke said gritting his teeth. He really didn't want to be reminded of his elder brother he wanted to kill. But this website was really freaking him out. He was hoping this site was about some other Sasuke and Itachi. And he went back to reading what the website said.

**_"Welcome to the Forbidden love Official Sasu x Itachi site. This site is all about supporting the pairing Itachi and Sasuke. Please scroll to the bottom for updates, fan fictions, and images._**

Sasuke first clicked on the fanfiction.

_**Twisted love**_

**_Rated M for Lemons, Language, and adult content._**

**_Summary: Sasuke starts to have strange feelings about his brother. Sasuke makes Itachi feel strange. And one night leads to another. Could love blossom?_**

Sasuke and the gang started intently reading. Then:

_**"Don't Worry, Little Brother. It won't hurt. Itachi whispered seductively, while licking the shell of his ear and his hands traveling down to a certain spot. He tucked his hands inside Sasuke's pants.**_

_**"OH! Faster, harder, Ni-san" Sasuke cried...**_

That's when he stopped reading. "What the fuck?" He said, feeling sick. He was currently in a panic attack mode. "Who could write this kind of shit?" He shouted. "I'm going to kill whoever wrote this!" He yells. His stoic handsome face was twisted in a look of disgust and anger.

"If you asked me, you kind of looked like you liked it." Naruto said with his eyes wide open, and was blushing, due to reading the smutty fanfiction.

"Shut up!" Sasuke growled.

"Hey! This actually quite good. I might actually start to read this instead of IchaIcha Paradise." Said Kakashi, who was glued to the screen reading the fanfiction, and appeared from no where.

"Where the hell did you come from?" Sasuke said, gritting his teeth.

"No need to be mean! I heard all this screaming and shouting coming from here. I thought I'd come here and see what is going on. I'll be heading back." Kakashi said cheerfully, before ungluing his eyes from the screen, and returned to reading his beloved Icha-Icha paradise and disappeared.

"OMG! Look at the images." Ino shouted, changing the page and pointing at the laptop screen. There was a picture Itachi and Sasuke on top of each other, naked, doing err... butt sex!

Sasuke covered his eyes. He heard "Nasty!" "Gross", "Sick, and " "Yuck" all over the room. The humiliation was killing him.

Damn Gaara for daring him to do this. Then suddenly Itachi poofed out of nowhere!

"What's going on little brother?" he said casually. Then he looked at the computer screen.

Sasuke looked at his brother with pure hate. "I'm going kill you right now." he said

"Eh. Doesn't be such a baby" He said, sitting down next to Sasuke, getting closer and closer to him every moment. Sasuke was trying to inch away from him. But it was no use. Itachi put his hand on Sasuke's thigh... When

"KISAME TO ITACHI. GET OVER HERE. WE NEED TO YOU BE THERE WHEN WE ARE HOLDING THE HOSTAGE FOR THE RANDSOM, 10 POUNDS OF LIME AND ALL 115 ISSUES OF ICHA-ICHA PARADISE. OVER." Blasted out of Itachi's walkie-talkie.

Itachi stood up.

"Well, little brother, I have to go. Akatsuki is calling. And remember: Runway. Cling to life. Hate me. And try to grow strong enough to kill me." He said cheerfully before him poofed and disappeared.

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All was silent after Itachi left.

Finally, Naruto said "That was awkward."

And Gaara said "Uchiha, you have a really weird brother."

"Yeah. I think he might have been drunk, though." Kiba added.

But what really broke the silence was Sakura screaming "EWWWWWWWWW!"

Everyone rushed over to Sakura to see what was so disgusting or disturbing

And there it was, Neji's "Personal." pictures posted all over the internet.

"OMG!" Someone screamed, and Neji blushed 7 different shades of red.

"NO. IT CAN'T BE!" He screamed, before everything went black and darkness welcomed him.

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So, why was Neji's "Personal" Pictures posted all over the internet?

Whose doing was it?

And why did everything go black and why did darkness welcome him?

We will find out next time!

a/n: I'm sorry if this chapter was too random. I was watching way too many south park Naruto videos off YouTube, while writing this chapter and the same time. Also, I had a lot of Red Bull, the night before.


	3. Mayhem At The Club!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto. But if I did, I would somehow bring Itachi to life and make him my personal slave. I don't own "Hips Don't Lie" By Shakira or "Barbie Girl" By Aqua. I don't own any items or brand names mentioned in the story and I don't own any college strips. I'm just a poor girl who works at a gas station and goes to school, who likes Naruto and Anime/Manga and also likes to write fics too. So don't sue me.

**a/n:** This chapter has been taken down and edited, because a dispute over a moment between Itachi and Sasuke which was in this story, that it featured in a comic. First, I don't know of the comic until later when a friend told about it and a review that someone kindly told that part sounded like a comic strip made by someone else. But now I'm getting numerous flames from bitches that don't have any manners that are making deal of it. And also people who don't like the playful Itachi x Sasuke in this story and the fact that I'm making the characters OCC and Random, too. And here's a little thing for people who don't like this fic and are going to bitch and be mean about it in my reviews: Shut the fuck up and don't read the fic!" This fic is supposed to be fun and random! Duh. So I've edited this chapter, the last part.

**WARING, THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS CRUDE HUMOR, BAD WORDS, BASHING OF PEOPLE AND SOME SEXUAL REFERENCES**.

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_**Recap.**_

_But what really broke the silence was Sakura screaming "EWWWWWWWWW!" _

_Everyone rushed over to Sakura to see what was so disgusting. _

_And there it was Neji "Personal." pictures posted all over the internet._

_"OMG!" Someone screamed, while Neji blushed 7 shades of red. _

_"NO. IT CAN'T BE." He screamed, before everything went black and darkness welcomed him. _

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Neji was in heaven, where purple fluffy bunnies were everywhere. It was so heavenly. But then suddenly, he was in horrible pain.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" He groaned. Someone was kicking him. "Finally you're awake!" said an enthusiastic, annoying voice.

"Who the hell are you?" Neji asked.

"I'm Naruto, you idiot! You fainted. And it's been two hours." Replied the annoying voice. Naruto, that name seems so familiar...

Then everything came rushing back to him, and Neji jumped up.

"What the fuck? I thought he was dead." Sasuke said.

"Aw! Damn it. He's alive. I was going to eat him." Chouji said, upset about not being able to eat Neji.

"WHO THE FUCK POSTED THOSE PICTURES? MY PRECIOUS PRIVATES ARE BEING EXPOSED TO EVERYONE. WHAT A SHAME!" Neji screamed, being a drama queen.

"Wow. I never knew you were so small." Sasuke said snickering.

"OH SHUT THE FUCK UP, UCHIHA! MY PRIVATES ARE BIGGER AND MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN YOURS." Neji Screaming frantically.

"Oh yeah, Hyuuga? Wanna bet?" Sasuke said angrily.

" YEAH!" Neji shouted smugly. He would defiantly win, he was bigger anyone than he knew. He had compared to the other men in the bathhouse and he was always the biggest.

" Hn." Sasuke said smirking, and then he pulled down his pants, giving everyone in the room a good view of his privates.

All was silent.

Gaara twitched.

Temari kept snapping pictures on her camera.

Ino was having a nosebleed.

An unreadable expression was on Naruto's face

Sakura was covering her eyes, screaming "MY VIRGIN EYES, HOW COULD YOU SASUKE?"

Tenten shook her head, taking out a specially sharpened weapon, preparing to kill Sasuke for doing such an indecent thing.

Shino, Kankuro, and Kiba just stared at Sasuke.

Chouji was shoving barbeque chips in his mouth.

Lee was dancing around, singing "OH THE YOUTHFULLNESS!"

Hinata fainted.

A few minutes past, and Sasuke still had his pants down, showing everyone his glowing manliness.

Then Kiba said. "You're a real bitch, Uchiha."

Sasuke replied, smirks. "Hn. You called me a bitch. Wow well... A bitch is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark is on trees. Trees are a part of nature. And nature is BEAUTIFUL! So thanks for the compliment."

"You are so gay, Uchiha." Gaara said, rolling his eyes.

"I'M SO NOT GAY!" Sasuke shouted, clearly offended.

"Whatever, Uchiha. And Inzuka, when you call him a bitch, he smirks, because he already knows he is a bitch." Gaara said.

"I don't care! Just pull up your pants, Uchiha!" Tenten said annoyed, ready to castrate Sasuke with the sharpened weapon, which she held tightly in her hand.

"No. Until someone confirms that I truly am bigger than Hyuuga." Sasuke said stubbornly.

"Fine. Someone precisely measure us, to see who is bigger. But it won't matter because, I will be bigger!" Neji said smugly, before pulling his pants down.

Kiba measured both of their privates. And the outcome was shocking. Neji and Sasuke were both the same length!

Everyone gasped.

"NO! HOW CAN THAT BE! YOU MEASURE WRONG, INZUKA." Neji and Sasuke shouted, who both refuses to believe the shocking news.

Kiba measured both of the again, only to confirm that they were both truly the same length.

"Hn." Sasuke said, clearly upset about being the same length as Neji. He still was convinced that he was bigger and Kiba had just measured wrong.

Neji was thinking along the same lines, but then the news that images of his privates that had been posted all over the web came flooding back in his head.

"NOW, WHO THE HELL WHO DO SUCH A VULGAR THING?" Neji said screaming, before shaking the laptop which was showing the pictures of his beloved privates.

Everyone was silent, trying to think who could have done such a vulgar thing.

Then Temari for once stop snapping pictures of everyone, that she planning to sell on eBay.

"What's the big deal? Why is everyone so quiet, she said board, then she went to where the laptop was, which was showing the pictures of Neji privates, that had been plastered all over the internet.

"Oh that's what is what everyone's making a big deal about? It's no biggie. I took those pictures a week ago and sold them to some crazy fan girls on eBay." Temari said as if nothing happened.

Neji jumped up, pointing an accusing finger at Temari, screaming over and over again, " HOW COULD YOU!" before everything went black and darkness welcomed him, for the second time that night, due to the shock of how one of his fellow comrades could do such a thing.

"Damn. He fainted again." Kiba said, poking Neji, who seemed to be unconscious.

"What should we do with him?" Gaara asked, looking at Neji.

"Throw him in closet for now, until he wakes up." Naruto suggested.

"For once, Good idea, Dobe." Sasuke said, while roughly shoving Neji's unconscious body in the closest.

"Hurry up and get back to the game. I'm bored." someone called.

"Yeah. Let's get back to the game" Naruto said.

"Whose turn is it, anyways?" Ino asked.

"Mine." Sasuke said.

"OK. Sasuke, it's your turn to pick someone." Sakura said.

"Hn. Fine, I pick Lee!" Sasuke said, pointing at Lee, who Lee was giving a lecture about youthfulness.

"Truth or Dare?" Sasuke asked.

"I pick Dare, to be show my manliness. No man would ever back down on a dare. More importantly, I need to show Gai-Sensei, my true strength and this would be a perfect chance to." Lee said determinedly.

"Hn. I dare you to dress up as a girl and dance at the strip pole at the Fluffy bunnies, Rainbows, And Candy club in Konoha." Sasuke said, smirking.

And before Lee could say a word, Temari, Ino, Sakura, and Hinata dragged him away.

Ten minutes later, Lee came back with Temari, Ino, Sakura, and Hinata.

Everyone gasped.

Lee was wearing a green lacy bustier, a frilly green g-string with a green garter belt. The outfit was complete with green fishnet stockings, orange legwarmers & green high heeled hooker boots.

His hair was in a tiny ponytail. And frilly pink, green, and red bows were everywhere in his hair.

He had red rouge on his cheeks and white foundation powder and concealer was caked on his face.

Black lipstick was on his lips, and he had green mascara and electric blue eye shadow on.

His fingernails were painted pink.

Basically it was Lee's clothes, only girly Hooker verison.

And he had a whip in his hand.

"We decided that this was the best outfit for him." Ino explained.

"It fits him so well!" Sakura gushed

"And it will totally go well with the club he's going to." Temari said.

"Don't I look, youthful?" Lee said, giving everyone one of his signature smiles.

All the girls sighed, proud of their handwork. Not aware Lee looked like a very ugly, strange-looking prostitute.

Naruto was laughing his ass off, while Sasuke just stared at Lee. Looks of sympathy were shared among the guys.

"Now off to the Fluffy bunnies, Rainbows, And Candy club to see Lee complete his dare!" Naruto announced. And everyone headed over to the Fluffy Bunnies, Rainbows, and Candy Club to see Lee complete his dare.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Fluffy Bunnies, Rainbows, And Candy Club wasn't a very popular club. But it was popular for all the lesbian, gay, pansexual, bisexual citizens of Konoha. All the crazy people or people who liked threesomes loved the club too.

You would see some of the strangest things there.

The club was bright pink with yellow flashing lights and a neon sign hung outside of the club, which said "Welcome to the Fluffy Bunnies, Rainbows and Candy Club!

Two men were passionately making out with each other at the entrance of the club.

Kiba nearly gagged seeing them.

The whole Naruto gang squeezed themselves in and found themselves in a strange place.

Classical music and strange songs were playing loudly. And Women were making out with Women, A man, a woman and another man were making out.

Pretty much everyone was freaked out.

"What do are we going to do here? All I see are weird people." Naruto said.

"Stupid Dobe, this is a club. Where people drink, dance, and get intimate" Sasuke replied annoyed.

"What do people drink? And what does intimate mean?" Naruto wanted to know.

"You're an idiot." Sasuke said, getting red in face, clearly not wanting to explain to Naruto.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Snakes on a Plane" (Bring It On) By Cobra Starship was playing, and everyone was heading off to the dance floor.

And the Naruto gang (except lee) was currently at the dance floor, grooving to the beat.

"Snakes on a Plane? When did that happen? How is that even possible? I really don't understand this song. First, of all it's in English..." Naruto complained, while scratching the back of his head.

"Shut up, and let's get go." Sakura said dragging him to the dance floor by his collar. She dumped in front of Hinata.

"Here, you go Hinata! Dance with Naruto." Sakura said cheerfully and then headed off to go to dance where Sasuke was.

But no one really knew how to dance. Kiba was doing some odd motion, Shino was doing something with his knees, Kankuro was doing something, that looked like a pathetic attempt to do the disco, Tenten was doing something with her weapons, Sakura was punching and kicking the air, as if it were an enemy shinobi, Temari was just well... snapping pictures and was trying to get Shikamaru to dance with her, Ino was also trying to get Shikamaru to dance with her, Neji was doing spinning around on the dance floor, doing Hakkeshō Kaiten, which was pretty much destroying the dance floor and not letting any one near him. And Sasuke, he was just standing their twitching.

It was a shame they didn't teach Choreography in the ninja academy.

The only person, who knew how to dance, surprisingly was Gaara. But Gaara wasn't doing the right dance to the right song. He was ballroom dancing.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Screamed a person, who obviously hated Ballroom dancing.

"Ball room dancing. Got a problem with that?" Gaara said calmly.

"YES! YOU DON'T BALL ROOM DANCE IN A CLUB. THAT'S JUST UNHIP. GET OUT IF YOUR GONNA BALL ROOM DANCE." The persona screamed back.

"You get out." Gaara said coolly.

"YOU LITTLE BASTARD, YOUR GONNA GET IT." The person screamed back, about to tackle Gaara. But Gaara was cool and punched unfortunate person, sending me crashing to the other side of the club.

Gaara got off with ought a scratch. He smirked. That's what you get for fooling with me!" he thought smugly.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Half an hour had passed since; Lee had been separated from the Naruto gang. He was trouble trying to dance at strip pole. First he needed permission to dance at the strip pole, and he needed to find the person in charge. He was having no such luck, except gay drunk men trying to hit on him.

"I will not give up! For the sake of youthfulness, I shall not give up. The flame of youth shall burn!" He though determinedly.

Then he bumped into a hard wall of flesh, which was more like muscle. Lee looked up. A massive muscled woman was peering back at him. "Gomen Nasei! I didn't know where I was walking" he cried.

"That's alright." The woman said. She had a deep masculine voice.

"I'm looking for the person charge, so I can show Sasuke-kun my manliness by completing the dare he gave me!" Lee said, flashing her, his signature smile.

"I'm the person in charge. You can complete your dare when the next show starts, which is in about 30 minutes." She said, with a huge smile.

"Thank You! I'm forever indebted to you." Lee said, clearly grateful.

"No problemo. But could you do I a favor before that, and be a doll?" She said seductively, winking.

Before Lee could even utter a word, she dragged them to the nearest empty room.

A few minutes later, Moans could be heard from the room. "Harder! Faster!" and "Ahh, that's the spot!" were heard. No one could have not suspected what was going on.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Oh, you're such an excellent massager! You even got that tough to reach sport somewhere near my back!" The muscular woman exclaimed.

"Nothing's a challenge for me! And even if I could reach it, I would never give up." Lee said, while massaging her shoulders.

She simply just wanted Lee to give her a massage. Lee agreed too, because he felt that he should return the favor.

And now he was currently straddling her lain down body, giving her a massage. The position was misleading.

Then suddenly the door burst open and two young looking girls came in. "Aw this room's already taken!" one said looking at Lee and the muscular lady.

"Oh well! We'll have our fun somewhere else!" The other girl said.

"You guys have fun!" They both said, winking, before leaving Lee and the muscular lady a massage.

"What was that about?" The muscular lady said puzzled.

"I have no clue. But those two had the fire of youthfulness burning in their eyes. I could see!" Lee said.

"Eh, oh well. Let's get on with the full-body massage. We only have 20 minutes left!" Muscular lady said happily, not really caring what had just happened.

It was amazing how she could only want massage and how both of them were not even aware of their current position.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

40 minutes later and still, the rest of the Naruto gang wasn't making much progress for dancing, and were dealing with their own problems, like Kiba. Kiba was currently trying to convince a lesbian, he is not a female.

The only person, who was making progress, was Sakura. So far, she had mastered the basics, from observing how the other's danced and by copying them.

She had decided it was time to see where Sasuke was. Earlier, she had gone looking for him. But could not find him.

Finally, she spotted him away from the crowd, sitting alone on a barstool.

"Hey Sasuke-kun! Want to dance." She said excitedly.

Sasuke looked up, annoyed from being awaken of these thoughts about how to kill Itachi. Which, he found was the only interesting thing to do. He didn't want to dance, didn't want to get drunk or be an idiot in this strange odd place.

He glared at however interrupted his thoughts. It was Sakura. Her cheeks were flushed red with excitement, her cotton-candy hair disbelieved, her clothes were disheveled and a creamy ivory skin was shown.

"No." he said in a flat voice.

"Please Sasuke-kun! Only one dance…" She said pouting.

How could he ignore her? Those damn puppy eyes. Sasuke thought.

He could never resist her pouting.

"Fine." Sasuke grumbled.

"Thank You Sasuke-Kun!" Sakura said sweetly, before dragging him off to the dance floor.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The loud and fast beat of "Tokyo Drift" By The Teriyaki boyz, which was currently blasting through the club, was giving Sasuke a headache.

First of all, he despised dancing. Dancing was for girls not for boys, was in his opinion. And the dancing that was going on right now was just a bunch of horny people shaking their asses.

Then he starts watching Sakura. She sensually dances to the music. She was entrancing him. Those red, plumps lips of hers. He thought, licking his lips.

Sasuke was imagining in his mind, the naughty things he could do to her. _Stop thinking those things!_ , He firmly told himself. Sakura was a team mate, a comrade, just a friend... or did he feel something more for her?

Then he started noticing the lusty glances men were throwing Sakura. Sasuke growled and glared at them. _Bastards!_ _What they were thinking? She's hands-off. Sakura is my woman!_" he thought angrily.

The song ended and "Show Me the Money" By Petey Pablo was playing.

_Wait, since when was Sakura my woman? Where did this come from?_ He asked himself. And again, he reminded himself that Sakura was just a friend and a comrade.

Sasuke found himself watching the way Sakura's hips swung, as she danced. The way she spun around was so hypnotizing. Suddenly, she was dancing closer and closer to him. Too close for his liking. Her warm curvious body was against his hard and muscled body.

She was sensually dancing up and down his body.

Alarms were going off in his Sasuke's head. She was going to be the death of him. Voices in his head were telling him to get away from her, before something drastic happened. But he couldn't help it. It felt so damn good.

Then she started grinding against him, that's when Sasuke realized he had a little problem. A little problem in his pants. She had causes a huge tent to appear in his pants. Sasuke clenched teeth. He needed to have her right now or else...

Sakura turned around, and started grinding her perky little butt in his groin and he couldn't take in anymore, and let out a small groan.

"Sasuke-kun, are you alright?" Sakura asked concernedly, she had stopped dancing.

She snapped Sasuke out of his perverted thoughts about her.

"Yes... I'm alright." He said strained.

"Good. Then let's keep dancing!" Sakura said, shimming up and down his body.

"Sakura, that's the problem." Sasuke said, grinding his teeth.

"What's the problem?" She asked innocently, before twirling herself and Sasuke around.

"We need to STOP dancing." He said clenching his fists.

"Why?" Sakura asked, while grasping his waist, dancing sensually against him.

"Because you don't understand... what you're doing to me!" Sasuke yelled frustrated.

"What?" Sakura asked truly confused, her hands roaming up and down his body.

"You're so annoying!" Sasuke said fed up, before pulling himself away from her and heading to the men's bathroom, leaving Sakura all along upset and confused.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

"What did I do wrong? I'm sure I didn't do anything wrong." Sakura said tearfully. She was currently at the bar, drinking some sake. She was underage, but she didn't care. She needed something to drown her sorrows in.

"You didn't do anything wrong. Uchiha is just confused." said a deep voice behind her.

She turned around. It was Gaara. Sakura had little interaction with him and she didn't really know him. He had tried to kill her during the Chuunin exams. But she didn't really care at the moment.

"How was he confused?" Sakura asked him, desperate for answers.

"Uchiha is starting to feel some emotions, which he feels he shouldn't be feeling." Gaara said.

"..."

"A dance?" Gaara said, holding a hand out for Sakura.

She didn't know Gaara, very well. _But what the heck?_, she thought. She took his hand, and smiled at him.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sakura panted, wiping the sweat off of her head. "Well, Kazekage-sama that was quite a dance" she told Gaara.

She and Gaara had ballroom danced to many songs. She never had so much fun in her life.

"..Call me Gaara, please." Gaara said, smirking.

He also had a good time. Sakura was a good dancer. He had also realized she had matured since the Chuunin exams, so had her body. She had also gotten stronger. Sakura had truly blossomed.

He found her interesting. And he didn't find many people interested.

He had decided, that he was going to take her away from Uchiha and make her his.

This was going to be fun.

He smirked again.

"Gaara, then." Sakura said brightly.

"Sakura, would you like a drink? I'll pay." Gaara said.

"Sure." She replied. She held his hand and they both went over to the bar.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

After a couple drinks, they had both discussed what was currently going on in their lives and what they planned for the future.

Gaara sipped his chili pepper vodka and then deeply looked at Sakura. He then cupped her chin.

"You looked so beautiful tonight." Gaara said.

Sakura blushed. "T--thank You." she said meekly.

Gaara smirked. Everything was going the way, he wanted to. And he had seen that the Uchiha had left the men's room and had seen them. He was currently glaring at them.

Their faces got closer and closer, lips only a few centimeters away...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sasuke couldn't take it anymore. Gaara was going to kiss her. He was cursing Gaara, glaring at him, hoping that he would just die. Sakura was his. And no one touched his Sakura.

He stormed over their away, ready to break them up...

But before Sakura and Gaara could kiss, or Sasuke could move. A loud voice came bursting through the speakers, "WELL FOLKS, THE LONG-WAITED EVENT OF THE NIGHT HAS NOW STARTED! THE LAST STRIP POLE DANCING SHOW FOR THE NIGHT IS NOW OFFICIAL. AND HERE'S WHAT YOU'VE BEEN WAITING FOR."

A stage and poles had suddenly appeared out of nowhere. Everyone's attention was at the stage.

Then Lee appeared on the stage next to the pole, still in the hideous costume that made him look like a strange and ugly looking prostitute.

Now, the only thought going through all the members of the Naruto gang was "Lee's dare..."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lee's heart was racing. It was time for his dare, the time to show his manliness.

"Barbie Girl" By Aqua starting playing. Lee waited for his queue.

_I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world _

_Life in plastic, it's fantastic. _

_You can brush my hair, undress me _

_Everywhere. _

_Imagination, life is your creation. _

_Come on Barbie, let's go party! _

Lee sang. He fluttered his mascara covered lashes, and twisted and turned around on the pole. He threw his whip into the crowd.

The audience went wild.

_I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world _

_Life in plastic, it's fantastic. _

_You can brush my hair, undress me _

_Everywhere. _

_Imagination, life is your creation. _

_I'm a blond bimbo girl, in a fantasy world, _

_Dress me up; make it tight, I'm your dolly. _

_You're my doll, rock'n'roll, feel the glamour in pink, _

_Kiss me here; touch me there, hanky panky. _

_You can touch; you can play, if you say: I'm _

_Always yours _

Lee pretended to undress himself, touched himself all over, and threw kisses at the crowd. He did a funky dance on the pole. He took over the green garter belt he wore.

_You can touch; you can play, if you say: I'm _

_Always yours _

_I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world _

_Life in plastic, it's fantastic. _

_You can brush my hair, undress me _

_Everywhere. _

_Imagination, life is your creation. _

Lee then started flaunting what god blessed him with, and started doing the robot. He removed his hooker boots and orange legwarmers, which he threw in the crowd. The audience went wild.

Suddenly, Kisame appeared on stage. He was wearing a black tuxedo and wore a blond wig.

_Come on Barbie, let's go party! _

_Ah, Ah, Ah, yea. _

_Come on Barbie, let's go party! _

_uu-oooh.. Uu-oooh... _

_Come on Barbie, let's go party! _

_Ah, Ah, Ah, yea. _

_Come on Barbie, let's go party! _

_Uu-oooh... uu-oooh... _

He sang, before taking his wig off and his black shoes and socks and threw it into the crowd.

At this point, the Naruto gang was in tears. Naruto's stomach hurt from laughing so much, that he couldn't even get himself up to go kill Kisame on stage, Gaara chocked on his Chili pepper vodka, Shino was rolling on the floor laughing, Neji was pointing a finger a Lee, before collapsing into a fit of giggling, Sasuke was laughing manically, Ino, Tenten, Hinata and Sakura was gasping for air, Kiba was convincing himself that this was a dream, Kankuro had one of his puppets dance along, Temari was snapping pictures with her digital camera, and even Shikamaru was laughing.

_Make me walk, make me talk, do whatever you please, _

_I can act like a star, I can beg on my knees. _

_Come jump in, bimbo friend; let us do it again, _

_Hit the town; fool around, andlet's go party. _

_You can touch; you can play, if you say: I'm _

_Always yours _

_You can touch; you can play, if you say: I'm _

_Always yours _

Lee sang, moving his body up a down against the pole and pretended to brush his hair. He went on his knees and pretended to beg. He threw his green fishnet stockings and all the frilly bows in his hair, into the crowd.

_Come on Barbie, let's go party! _

_Ah, Ah, Ah, yea. _

_Come on Barbie, let's go party! _

_Uu-oooh... uu-oooh... _

_Come on Barbie, let's go party! _

_Ah, Ah, Ah, yea. _

_Come on Barbie, let's go party! _

_Uu-oooh... uu-oooh... _

Kisame sang, jumping up and down. He swung around the pole a couple of times, before throwing his tuxedo jacket, his black tie, and his white shirt in the air.

_I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world _

_Life in plastic, it's fantastic. _

_You can brush my hair, undress me _

_Everywhere. _

_Imagination, life is your creation. _

_I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world _

_Life in plastic, it's fantastic. _

_You can brush my hair, undress me _

_Everywhere. _

_Imagination, life is your creation. _

Lee sang again, doing some kung-fu moves in the air and went spinning around in a circle, before climbing up and down the pole. He took off the green lacy bustier he was wearing and threw it into the crowd.

_Come on Barbie, let's go party! _

_Ah, Ah, Ah, yea. _

_Come on Barbie, let's go party! _

_Uu-oooh... uu-oooh... _

_Come on Barbie, let's go party! _

_Ah, Ah, Ah, yea. _

_Come on Barbie, let's go party! _

_Uu-oooh... uu-oooh... _

Kisame sang, doing a back flip before throwing his undershirt in the crowd.

_Oh, I'm having so much fun! Oh, I love you Ken. _

Lee sang, while doing cartwheels. Finally, he took off his green g-string. He didn't face the crowd, only giving them a good view of his ass.

_Well Barbie, we've just getting started. _

Kisame sang, while doing a couple of somersaults, and then he took of the checkered boxers he wore into the crowd. Like Lee, he didn't face the crowd, giving them only a view of his very blue ass.

The song ended and the crowd went wild. But then Kisame and Lee suddenly turned around, giving everyone a good view of their manliness. Then they both bowed and walked out of the stage.

The Naruto gang was in shock. Naruto's eyes were bulging; Shikamaru was muttering "how troublesome?" Ino was in complete shock, Sakura had covered her eyes, so she was spared, Sasuke was twitching, Gaara looked like he was going to kill someone, Kankuro, Tenten, Kiba, Neji, and Shino both looked very grossed out, and Temari as usual was snapping pictures.

"THAT WAS ROCK LEE AND HOSHIGAKI KISAME WHO BOTH SANG, POLE DANCED, AND STRIPPED TO "BARBIE GIRL" BY AQUA. BUT THE SHOW ISN'T OVER YET..." Said a booming voice, which blasted through the speakers.

Then suddenly Itachi, who was just wearing an old worn Levi's jeans, came on stage. The whole audience went extremely wild, except Sasuke and the rest of the Naruto gang.

"What the hell is Itachi?" Sasuke said shocked at hell but at the same time he wanted to go on that stage and kill Itachi.

"This for all my fans!" Itachi said, throwing kisses at the crowd. And then "Hips Don't Lie" By Shakira started playing.

_Ladies up in here tonight _

_No fighting, no fighting _

_We got the refugees up in here _

_No fighting, no fighting _

_Shakira, Shakira _

_I never really knew that she could dance like this _

_She makes a man want to speak Spanish _

_Como se llama, Bonita, mi casa, su casa _

_Shakira, Shakira _

_Itachi sang as he shook his hips and danced._

_Oh baby when you talk like that _

_You make a woman go mad _

_So be wise and keep on _

_Reading the signs of my body _

_And I'm on tonight _

_You know my hips don't lie _

_And I'm starting to feel it's right _

_All the attraction, the tension _

_Don't you see baby, this is perfection _

He waved his arms around in the air, before doing the hamster dance.

_Hey Girl, I can see your body moving _

_And it's driving me crazy _

_And I didn't have the slightest idea _

_Until I saw you dancing _

_And when you walk up on the dance floor _

_Nobody cannot ignore the way you move _

_Your body, girl _

_And everything so unexpected - the way _

_You right and left it _

_So you can keep on taking it _

_I never really knew that she could dance like this _

_She makes a man want to speak Spanish _

_Como se llama, Bonita, mi casa, su casa _

_Shakira, Shakira _

Suddenly Kisame came on stage again; Itachi grabbed him and started doing the tango with him.

_Oh baby when you talk like that _

_You make a woman go mad _

_So be wise and keep on _

_Reading the signs of my body _

_And I'm on tonight _

_You know my hips don't lie _

_And I'm starting to feel its right _

_All the attraction, the tension _

_Don't you see baby, this is perfection _

Itachi let go of Kisame, and started moving his hips a sensual way, like a belly dancer. Then he turned around and started doing the hula.

_Hey Girl, I can see your body moving _

_And it's driving me crazy _

_And I didn't have the slightest idea _

_Until I saw you dancing _

_And when you walk up on the dance floor _

_Nobody cannot ignore the way you move _

_Your body, girl _

_And everything so unexpected - the way _

_You right and left it _

_So you can keep on taking it _

_I never really knew that she could dance like this _

_She makes a man want to speak Spanish _

_Como se llama, bonita, mi casa, su casa _

_Shakira, Shakira _

Itachi grabbed Kisame again, and did the tango with him.

_Oh baby when you talk like that _

_You make a woman go mad _

_So be wise and keep on _

_Reading the signs of my body _

_And I'm on tonight _

_You know my hips don't lie _

_And I am starting to feel you boy _

_Come on let's go, real slow _

_Don't you see baby asi es perfecto _

_Oh I know I am on tonight my hips don't lie _

_And I'm starting to feel its right _

_All the attraction, the tension _

_Don't you see baby, this is perfection _

_Shakira, Shakira _

Itachi spun Kisame around, and then Kisame gracefully lifted Itachi in the air, and set him back down.

_Oh boy, I can see your body moving _

_Half animal, half man _

_I don't, don't really know what I'm doing _

_But you seem to have a plan _

_My will and self restraint _

_Have come to fail now, fail now _

_See, I am doing what I can, but I can't so _

_You know _

_That's a bit too hard to explain _

_Baila en la calle de noche _

_Baila en la calle de dia _

_Baila en la calle de noche _

_Baila en la calle de dia _

_I never really knew that she could dance like this _

_She makes a man want to speak Spanish _

_Como se llama, Bonita, mi casa, su casa _

_Shakira, Shakira _

Itachi let go of Kisame and started doing strange dance moves and gestures with his hands, which suspiciously looked like Bharatanatyam.

Oh baby when you talk like that

You know you got me hypnotized

So be wise and keep on

Reading the signs of my body.

Itachi grabbed Kisame again, doing the mambo. Then he dipped him low, and Kisame gracefully arched his back.

_Señorita, feel the conga, let me see you _

_Move like you come from Colombia _

_Mira en Barranquilla se Baila asi, say it! _

_Mira en Barranquilla se Baila asi _

Itachi let go of Kisame and started shaking his upper bare chest.

_Yeah _

_She's so sexy every man's fantasy _

_a refugee like me back with the Fugees _

_From a 3rd world country _

_I go back like when 'pac carried crates for _

_Humpty Humpty _

_I need a whole club dizzy _

_Why the CIA Wanna watch us? _

_Colombians and Haitians _

_I ain't guilty, it's a musical transaction _

_No more we do snatch ropes _

_Refugees run the seas 'cause we own our _

_Own boats _

Itachi was now shaking his pelvis and his lower body, like a mad animal, but it gave everyone the impression he was humping the air.

_I'm on tonight, my hips don't lie _

_And I'm starting to feel you boy _

_Come on let's go, real slow _

_Baby, like this is perfecto _

_Oh, you know I'm on tonight and my _

_Hips don't lie _

_And I'm starting to feel it's right _

_The attraction, the tension _

_Baby, like this is perfection _

Itachi grabbed Kisame and started dancing with him, again. Kisame then lifted Itachi in the air and spun him around.

_No fighting _

_No fighting_

The song ended, and Kisame and Itachi dramatically did the finishing dance movie and bowed.

The crowd went crazy. The clapping didn't stop. Kisame and Itachi were showered with business cards, and fan girls and fan girls wanting an autograph.

By now the entire Naruto gang, except Sasuke was drunk, on the floor laughing. Sasuke on the other hand, was frozen in horror, his jaw dropped in shock, and his eyes were filled with hatred, which was directed at his brother.

Itachi and Kisame finally made through the crowd and went over were the Naruto gang was. But this time, both were clad in their regular clothing, the Akatsuki cloaks.

Itachi was intently talking to Ino about nail polish and Kisame was talking to Chouji about which brand of potato chips was the best.

Sasuke fist was clenched, his hair covering his eyes, and the expression on his face was unreadable.

"...Iiiiiiiiitaaaaaaaachiiiiiii...I will kill you..." He shouted, and a vein on his forehead popped.

That seemed to get Itachi's attention, and he stopped talking to Ino.

" Huh?" Itachi said obliviously.

"I WILL GET MY REVENGE NOW!" Sasuke screamed.

"FOR OUR CLAN AND I'M ALSO GOING TO KILL YOU FOR EMBARRASSING THE HELL OUT OF ME! YOU'RE A DISGRACE" Sasuke continued to scream.

". Ah, don't be such a big baby about it little brother, and that's what big brothers are for, embarrassing the hell out of you." Itachi said, cheerfully while drinking his pink Cosmo.

Sasuke deadpanned. And then continued to rant and scream about the numerous ways how he was going to kill Itachi.

Itachi ignored him and then focused his attention on Sakura. Then he rushed to her side and kissed her hand. Sakura blushed. "You must be Sakura! One of my brother's wonderful acquaintances. You're quite a pretty girl, I must say! I wonder how Sasuke hasn't notice such a pretty blossom like you!" Itachi said, winking at Sakura.

"Do you want to know why?" He whispered in Sakura's ear.

She eagerly nodded her head.

"It's because…" He stopped and trailed off with a dramatic pause.

"HE'S GAY!" Itachi shouted, while screaming and jumping up and down.

All was silent. Jaws dropped and gasps could be heard.

Everyone in the Naruto gang had this slight feeling deep down inside that Sasuke was gay, but they assumed that it couldn't be. A man like him, who had this ego this size of Texas, couldn't be gay. But with Itachi screaming it, it pretty much confirmed the fact that Sasuke was gay.

"THAT'S NOT TRUE! Sasuke sputtered his face fire-truck red. "YOU GUYS KNOW I COULDN'T BE GAY! GAY MEN DON'T SHINE WITH THE MANLINESS OR HAVE BIG EGOS LIKE ME! AND WHY THE HELL WOULD LISTEN TO HIM, A NAIL-POLISH WEARING MAN FREAK PYSCHO WHO KILLED ALMOST HIS ENTIRE FAMILY EXCEPT ME." He screamed.

"It's true, Sasuke. You have to accept the fact you gay." Itachi said solemnly.  
"And there are two reasons why I wear nail polish" Itachi continued to say. "One reason why because it's fashionable and PRETTY!" He squealed. "And the other reason why is top secret, but it does with one of Akatsuki's secret rituals." He said matter-of-factly.

"But Sasuke, you are gay and I have evidence." Itachi said, whipping out pictures of Sasuke and Naruto. One of the pictures showed a kiss shared between Naruto and Sasuke, in their gennin years. Naruto didn't look too happy; neither did Sasuke, but if you looked closely it looked like Sasuke forced his lips upon Naruto's lips.

Everyone gasped.

"N-no-way, I thought that was an accident." Naruto said chocking on his beer.

"It wasn't, Sasuke was tempted by your innocence, and he took advantage of you." Itachi said seriously.

"OMG. HOW COULD I HAVE NOT REALIZED THAT? WHAT IF HE RAPES ME?" Naruto screamed a terrified look on his face.

"SAKURA-CHAN, SAVE ME FROM THAT… PERVERT!" Naruto yelled, hiding behind Sakura, and pointing an accusing finger at Sasuke.

"I DON'T LIKE MEN. AND THAT WAS AN ACCIDENT! AND FIRST OF ALL, THAT WAS NARUTO'S FAULT. HE TRIPPED AND SMASHED HIS FACE AGAINST MINE." Sasuke screamed, his eyebrow twitching.

"Little brother, you have to realize it. You wanted him, that's why." Itachi said wisely.

"EW, HELL NO. I TOLD IT WAS AN ACCIDENT AND IT WASN'T EVEN MY FAULT" Sasuke screamed, clutching his head.

"Whatever. But how do you explain, this little brother?" Itachi said, whipping out a TV and a video tape.

Itachi popped the video into the VCR and pressed "play".

Gasps and could cries of disgust could be heard!

It was a sex tape! Featuring, what looked like two men doing sex with each other!

"OMG! IT'S SASUKE." Kiba screamed excitedly, and pointed to the screen.

"NO WAY! I TOLD YOU I DON'T LIKE MEN." Sasuke yelled stubbornly.

"Look closer, you idiots, its Lance Bass from NSYCN!" Kankuro said, squinting at the screen.

"OMG! HE'S LIKE TOTALLY GAY!" Someone shouted.

"NO, LOOK CLOSER, IT'S THAT PEDOSPHILE THAT WAS ON TV, THE OTHER DAY." Some one else screamed.

Everyone huddled around the TV, wondering who the two people were. George Bush and Sasuke, and Sasuke and a half-monkey man were just some of the people that some of the Naruto gang thought was featured in the sex video.

"NO, IT'S PARIS HILTON AND HER OLD BOYFRIEND!" Ino shouted.

Neji took a closer look. "She's right!" he said in amazement.

"Oops, wrong video." Itachi said. "I must have left the one with my little brother in it and burger king when I was eating lunch or at the Akatsuki headquarters." He said apologetically.

Itachi snapped his fingers and the TV suddenly disappeared.

"I don't have the right video, but let me assure you my little brother is gay." Itachi told everyone.

This was the limit, for poor Sasuke who had endured too much humiliation. 

"THAT'S IT. I'M GOING TO KILL YOU RIGHT NOW AND I MEAN IT." He shouted, he started running toward Itachi, chidori in hand, ready to kill his brother right then.

Only Sasuke didn't notice the banana peel on the floor.

He tripped, chidori went out and he grasped what was the nearest thing that was close to him, to keep himself from falling.

Sakura's breasts.

Hmm… whatever I grabbed are really soft and gushy." Sasuke thought, not noticing what he was grasping. He laid his head down on Sakura's chest, and snuggled between her breasts.

The perfect place to lie my head down for a minute." Sasuke thought. Then he looked up and realized it.

"Oh Shit." He thought.

Everyone froze. Sakura twitched. "SASUKE, YOU PERVERT!" She screamed, before bashing his head, and punching him against the wall. He banged against the wall hard, where he lay battered.

Naruto winced. "That's gotta hurt" he thought. Most of the Naruto gang silently agreed with that.

Itachi manically started laughing. "MHWAHAHAHA! Nice try, little brother. But you can never kill me." He paused for a dramatic effect.

"BECAUSE I HAVE THIS!" He yelled, whipping out a picture.

Everyone gasped.

It was a baby picture of Sasuke. He was cute, his eyes were laughing in the picture, and he was sucking his thumb, but he was bare-naked, only in his birthday suit.

"HOW CUTE!" screamed the rabid fan girls.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, NO, THAT PICTURE. IT RUINS MY REPUTATION." Sasuke screamed, clutching his head.

"I saved it, little brother. It's the ultimate weapon." Itachi said smirking.

"And when you do hate me enough to kill me, which you can't do, because you love too much, I shall do this!" Itachi declared, whipping out a red button.

"I will click the button, and when I click the button, this picture will be pasted all over the internet!" he said evilly.

"And, so little brother, unless you can conquer this, you will never be able to kill me." Itachi continued.

Then Kisame rushed over. "We've got another mission. It's urgent" He told Itachi.

"Aw, it can't wait?" Itachi asked Kisame, pouting.

"Nope." Kisame said.

"Dang. What's the mission?" Itachi said, disappointed.

"One of our clients wants us to steal all the Barbies from Mattel and give it to him. The reward is very promising. 200 cases of red bull, pink cake, a paid for tea party, and best of all, 100 bottles of Black Silk Chanel nail polish!" Kisame squealed.

"OMG, No way!" Itachi said excitedly.

"Sorry, little brother. But this will have to wait. But until then, remember, to runway and cling to life, hate me and despise me to kill me." Itachi said cheerfully.

Then suddenly a gigantic bat swooped down, and carried Kisame and Itachi on its back.

"Until, we meet again, little brother. Sayonara!" Itachi cried from the bat's back, waving good-bye.

The entire Naruto gang and the rest of the club waved good-bye to the two Akatsuki members, except Sasuke. Who was battered and lay slumped against the wall.

"What did I do, Kami-sama? to deserve a brother like him?" he thought, before shutting both of his swollen tired eyes and falling into darkness.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

END OF CHAPTER THREE


	4. Mayem At The Club 2

**Four Fun Games for Amusement, Chapter 4**

**Disclaimer: Yeah, I don't own Naruto, blah. You know the drill. **

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

_"I'm going home, now." Naruto slurred, before throwing up all over Itachi._

_That was too much for Sasuke. He had gone through too much today. That was the limit. _

_And so, he fainted._

_- - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - _

**Chapter 4**

Sakura stared at the ground. There laid before her was Naruto who had passed out from drinking too much and had thrown up all over Itachi and Sasuke who had fainted from the fact of seeing his brother at a strip club for gays, lesbian, and bisexuals.

She sighed. _Those idiots. Maybe I should help them up and take them home._

She was considering the fact until she heard Itachi.

"You fool! You just threw up all over my new Versace limited edition Akatsuki cloak. I'm going to kill you." Itachi thundered at Naruto. He had a wild crazed look in his eyes.

_Screw that. They can take care of themselves. I'm outta here,_ she thought, taking a quick look at Itachi before leaving.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hinata felt great. Even though she was a bit flushed, felt a little dizzy, and drunk as hell. Adrenaline was rushing through her body. She had never felt so alive.

"Hey, you! Go get me some more vodka" She snapped at the nearest person, which happened to be Lee who had been signing photographs for fellow fans of his strip show.

Lee's eyes turned as big as saucers. "Hinata-san, do you feel alright?" He had never seen Hinata act in such a way. She was always to shy, not like this. Surely something had to be wrong.

"Of course I'm fine. Gotta problem with me being myself?"

Gulp. Lee swallowed. "But Hinata-san, I think your better off having a water, alcoholic drinks aren't very good for the mind and body -" Lee said starting to go on a full launch lecture about how alcohol was bad.

Hinata cut him off.

"Blah, blab, blah. Do you think I give a fuck? Now go get me some vodka before I cut off your -"

"No need to use such vulgar language, I'll get you some right now." Lee said, hurrying away from Hinata.

Lee raced to the bar. "One vodka and one water, please." He told the bar tender.

"Coming right up."

Soon, the bartender handed him two glasses, one full of vodka, one full of water.

Lee peered down at the two glasses.

They looked exactly the same.

Lee warily picked up one of the glasses and started to drink from it.

_Hmm, the water has a funny taste. A lot like the medicine Gai-sensei gave me along time ago in that restaurant and to fight Kimmaro..._

There was silence.

Suddenly Lee began to feel funny. He felt heavy and drowsy.

Huh... I'm started to feel really weird.

His eyes drooped and a blush began to form on Lee's cheeks and he started to giggle.

He began stumble and then his body poised it's self in a fighting mood.

"ARRGHH!" He cried as he beat his chest with his fists.

The terror was on. Lee was drunk.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hinata was getting impatient.

_What the hell is taking that fuzz-browed freak so long?_ She fumed.

She wanted her vodka right now and wasn't in a mood to be messed with.

_When I find him, I'm going to kill him._

Suddenly someone tapped her on the shoulder.

Hinata whipped around.

It was Kiba.

"What do you want?" She scowled.

Kiba, who was a bit taken back by her behavior, firmly said.

"Let's go home, Hinata this place is weird. And I can't find anyone else."

"NO! I don't want to go home." She growled.

"We're going, come on." Kiba tugged on her sleeve, dragging her away from the dance floor.

WHACK! Was the sound was Hinata's fist connected to Kiba's nose.

"OWW" Kiba howled as he stumbled and clutched his nose in pain.

"What was that for?" He asked her.

"Don't ever touch me with greasy dirty paws. Do that again, I'll cut off your balls and stuff them down your throat. And when I don't want to go home, I don't go home. Don't make me do things I won't want to do. I'm not that shy little weak girl, which you think I am. I'm tired of people underestimating me." Hinata screamed at Kiba.

He was scared as hell. What the hell happened to Hinata? Why was she like this?

Take deep breaths.

"I think you've had too much to drink, Hinata. Let's go home and take a nice rest. It's been a hard day." he tried to say soothingly.

Too bad it was the wrong thing to say.

THWACK! Hinata swiftly kicked Kiba in stomach.

"I said don't tell me what to do. Next time I'll be kicking at your nuts." She sneered at Kiba.

"Alright. Just leave me alone!" Kiba cried, trying to crawl away from Hinata.

She smirked.

Kiba closed his eyes, waiting for the last blow.

Luckily, Neji walked by.

"What's wrong with you?" He asked Kiba, one of his eyebrow was arched in surprised.

Kiba just whimpered.

"Anyways, let's go home. Tenten, Kankuro, Temari, Ino and Chouji had fallen sleep from drinking too much. And things are getting to rowdy." Neji continued to say.

Then he acknowledged Hinata.

"Hinata-sama, we're going home. Come." He said curtly.

"Well if isn't the girly man, himself." Hinata said, ignoring his previous comment.

Neji's eyes widened to the size of dinner plates. "Pardon, me?" He couldn't believe his ears.

"You heard me perfectly fine, Girly boy."

"Let's go, Hinata-sama." he said gently.

"No. I don't want to go home yet. I'm not in a good mood, so piss me off or suffer the consequences, girly-man."

Neji remained silent, just staring at Hinata.

Hinata smirked. "Did anyone tell you, you're so damn girly that you could be a girl? Seriously, your more girly that Legolas in Lord of The Rings. And that's not a compliment.

_Hinata-sama, must not be feeling well. Must be that time of the month for her. Tenten usually acts like that around during that time_, Neji decided. And suddenly a very stupid thing to say popped up in his head.

"Hinata-sama, I know! It must be that time of the month for you. Have no fear, Sakura I know for a fact, always has some chocolate and Midol with her. On the way home, why don't you ask her for some?" He blurted out.

Hinata's eyes flashed.

U_h-oh. Did I say the wrong thing? I'm pretty sure I said the right thing_, Neji thought confused.

"Fool. You are pretty stupid for a prodigy." Hinata sneered before promptly kicking Neji in the balls.

Neji moaned in pain, sinking to the ground, while clutching his beloved family jewels.

"Heh, you said the worst thing you could ever ask a girl, if she's PMSING. That's like your asking to get killed." Kiba said snickering, even though he was in great pain from his inflicted injuries.

"Shut up." Neji said through clenched teeth.

"But I wonder why she's acting like this, if she isn't PMSING. It's just not like her."

"Scary Inner self?" Neji suggested.

"Nah."

Suddenly, a light bulb popped up in Neji's brain. "She's drunk! And being bitchy is one of the side-effects for her!"

"You mean like Lee? I heard when he get's drunk he goes crazy and destroys everything around him?" Kiba asked

"Yeah. Speaking of Lee, do you know where he is?"

"I have no clue. I saw he a couple of minutes ago, Hinata was screaming at him to get her some vodka and he left after that." Kiba replied.

There was silence was Kiba and Neji put the two pieces of information together and processed it in their brains.

"Wait! You don't mean..."

"Yeah."

_Oh shit_, they both thought.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Sakura sighed as she sipped her sour-cherry drink.

She swirled the dark crimson in liquid around in the crystal glass.

She was bored. Itachi had gone ballistic and started attacking Naruto for throwing up on his precious Akatsuki cape. He was probably dead, by now. Sasuke had passed out, and a mob of fan girls had surrounded him, making it impossible for Sakura to wake him up. They were fascinated with him, pricking, poking, and robbing his body of its possessions.

Gaara had vanished somehow and gotten lost in the crowd.

_What a pity. He was a better companion than Sasuke and he is pretty hot, you have to admit. _Sakura mentally smacked herself._ What am I saying? I love Sasuke-kun, not Gaara, _she thought going into Sasuke-fan girl mode. _Eh, whatever._

Sakura turned her attention to the slip of pink next to her.

**Tired of being unappreciated? What something more in your life? **

Sakura snorted. _Of course._ Being a ninja and Tsunade's apprentice gave you some respect but not a lot. Her life-love was pathetic for example.

**Well here's your chance! Come and take your chances of being popular superstar actress or model for the new talent company, Shizuka for free. That's right for FREE. **

_Hmm... That doesn't look too bad and it does look like it's legal. In fact it sounds, great. Let me check the date for the tryouts…_

Sakura checked the date and timing for the tryouts, and where to go for the tryouts.

_Hey, the tryouts are today and in two hours. I'm defiantly going_.

Sakura sighed in happiness. There was no way she was going let a chance like this slip away.

She could almost taste it, the fame of being a famous actress or model.

_Start of daydream_

_The sky was bright blue and the weather was perfect. Sakura was dressed in a black slinky number by a famous designer and wore diamond earrings the size of rocks and a diamond tiara. _

_She stepped out of the limo, smiled and waved to the adoring crowds. 'Look, it's the famous Sakura-sama!', a woman shouted. Fans waved pens and papers for autographs, handsome men looked at in lust, little girls and boys looked at her in fascination, each one in the crowd holding a mini Sakura doll or wearing an 'I Love Sakura!' shirt. Woman looked up at in adoration, wishing they were just like her. _

_Everyone wanted a piece of her. Sakura gracefully walked to the end of the red carpet and into the luxurious and famous hotel where she was suppose to promote her new movie. _

_And there they were! Gaara and Sasuke in all their glorious manliness, wearing pink tuxedos waiting for her. _

_"Hey." Sasuke said, he smiled at her and held out an arm. He offered to escort her. "May I?" _

_Gaara glared at him. "She will go with me. Sakura doesn't deserve to be escorted by trash like you."_

_Sasuke scowled and the expression on his face darkened. "What did you say, psycho boy?"_

_Gaara smirked. "Look whose taking. You heard me perfectly fine." _

_Sasuke growled. "I could beat your sorry ass any day?"_

_"Want to bet"_

_"Yeah."_

_Sakura smiled in happiness and she watched the two handsome men fight over her. Life was good._

_End of daydream._

Life would be great, if it was like that. Sakura sighed in happiness.

"Hey bartender, give me another one." Sakura told the bartender, gesturing towards her empty glass of the sour-cherry drink.

The bartender smirked, "One coming straight up." He handed her another glass of the sour-cherry drink.

"Thanks." Sakura mumbled and took a sip of the bitter but sweet drink.

A few minutes later, she felt sad.

_Why, am I so sad?_

She touched her cheek and felt wet tears running down her cheeks.

Five minutes, she was fully crying, sobbing very hard, snot dripping from her nose and tears were flooding from her eyes for no reason.

She couldn't stop crying.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

"We have to stop Lee before he destroys everything!" Neji said.

Kiba grimaced. "I can't move. Hinata's kicks pack a lot of pain."

Neji tried to move, but felt a jolt of pain in the lower-part of his body.

"I can't move either." Neji groaned.

"Well, there's no way we can stop Lee. We're just going to have to let him destroy the place." Kiba said, sighing.

"Or we can hope someone else will stop him, while we are groveling on the floor in pain." Neji suggested.

Kiba snorted. "No chance."

"..."

"On the other hand, let's just let him destroy the place."

--------------------------------------------------------

Shikamaru sighed. Here, he was sitting on the couch, being responsible by refusing drinks and girls trying to hit on him, while everyone else, he bet, was getting drunk and laid.

_Geez, how troublesome._

After fighting with each other over him and calling each other vile names for sometime, Ino and Temari decided to call a truce for a couple of minutes and went to the bar to get a drink.

Once, they got their drinks they returned to where Shikamaru was, killing any girl in the vicinity that was trying to flirt with Shikamaru. Soon they resume cat fighting, grabbing each other and ripping each other's clothes, calling each other creatively evil names.

But after, a couple minutes they stopped and suddenly immediately fell asleep.

And they just had to fall asleep on top of Shikamaru.

Shikamaru could move one off, but there were both of them asleep on his lap. Together, both of them very heavy. So Shikamaru couldn't move either Temari or Ino off his lap let alone get up.

He sighed. There was nothing to do, and he was bored.

He could only hope that they would be going soon and someone else from the Naruto gang would save him.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Shino was attracting a lot of attention from the girls at the dance floor.

"Are you a male or female?"

"Is that an afro?"

"Are you human?"

"Are you an animal?"

"What's your nin jutsu specialty?"

"Why can't we see your face?

The girls crowded around him, questioning his mysterious character, while they oozed and ahhed over him like he was a new species.

Shino smiled slightly.

He didn't want to admit it, but he loved the attention.

It was nice.

He was an attention whore.

And besides, if they got to close or tried to take off his shades, he always had his bugs.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Gaara was hiding in the women's bathroom in a stall.

Yes, the great Sabaku no Gaara was hiding in the woman's bathroom in a stall.

He was hiding from someone.

After laughing at Sasuke's misfortunate, he planned to flirt with Sakura some more and make her his.

But when he was heading, towards the bar, someone was following him.

It was very weird guy, who was dressed in a drag. He had Mohawk rainbow dyed hair and was adorned with black leather studded jewelry. He seemed to be a body builder. His gigantic muscles glinted in the strobe lights. He seemed to follow Gaara everywhere with a weird glimmer in his eyes and a lecherous look on his face.

Gaara was being uneasy, and decided to beat the crap out of this stranger before things got really weird.

"Who are you? And why are you following me?" Gaara demanded.

The stranger just stared at him with a hungry look in his eyes.

Gaara couldn't take it anymore. He focused all of his chakra at his fist and threw a punch at the stranger.

And the strangest thing happened, the stranger caught his fist, with a grin on his face, started to grab Gaara towards him.

Gaara grabbed his fist from the stranger's grasp and ran for his life.

He didn't know who this weirdo was and what he wanted with him. But it wasn't a good thing if he could actually stop Gaara's punches.

So instead of fighting, he decided to flee.

But no matter where he went, the stranger always found him.

And so here Gaara was the place where he was convinced the stranger could never find him.

For the first time in a long time he was scared.

_That weirdo is creepy. _

He shuddered and protectively curled himself in a ball.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Nnnhng, Sasuke mumbled unintelligently.

A hand flew to his forehead.

Where was he? And why the hell did he feel so fucking cold?

Sasuke shivered.

Then he realized what was very wrong.

AHHHHHHHHHH, he screamed.

He was naked! Head to toe. He was only in his birthday suit. He had nothing on him, his clothes were gone, his accessories were gone, his weapons were gone and even his headband was gone.

Then he unconsciously remembered slightly what happened to him when he was knocked out.

_Flashback_

_Fan girls crowded around his fallen body. Pricking and pocking him, like vultures around a dead carcass. The fan girls robbed him off his clothes and all of his accessories, fighting over everything._

_"HEY, GIVE ME THAT" Sasuke heard one fan girl shriek at another, playing tug-a-war with his beloved Uchiha clan shirt with the other fan girl. _

_"No, it's mine; Sasuke-kun gave it to me!"_

_"He's not even awake! And it's mine because I got it first"_

_Meanwhile, the treasury of his fan club was auctioning off some certain items of his._

_"Here we have a pair of out beloved Sasuke-kun's boxers. A true collector's item. Shall we start the bids?" Said the girl, holding up the pair of plain black cotton boxers Sasuke wore. _

_Fan girls immediately started bidding, hands shot up in the air and bids were shrieked. _

_"Going for 700 ryou, 800 ryou, no 3000 ryou! Going once, going twice... sold!"_

_Flash-forward_

Sasuke's widened in fear.

_They didn't? Did they?_

His hand immediately went to his private parts.

Nope, they didn't divirginize him yet.

He sighed in relief.

But he still was pretty pissed. His face turned fire-truck red, as people turned to gawk at his naked body, his hands protectively covering his private parts.

_Damn fan girls! They're going to pay. Why didn't Naruto or anyone save me for them?_

Then he peered to his left, where he found a very much dead-looking Naruto on the ground, foaming from the mouth.

_Oh that's right; Dobe was beaten up by my brother for throwing up on his cloak. _

Sasuke scanned the part of the bar where he was left for the dead. There's was nobody from the Naruto gang there, besides Naruto, who was knocked out and beaten up with a terrified look on his face.

Sasuke sighed as he ran his fingers through his chicken hair.

Look's like he was going to have to rescue himself and Naruto, this time.

Suddenly, someone was waving his Konoha headband right under his nose.

"Looking for this?" Someone asked him, smirking.

It was Hinata.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**END OF CHAPTER 4. **

_What will happen next time? Why does Hinata have Sasuke's headband? What will she do him? Why is sweet Hinata acting evil? _

_And who's drugging everyone's drinks?_

_And most importantly, why is Shino an attention whore? _

_Find out next time_

**End of Chapter a/n:** You guys enjoying this? I hope so. Let me remind you this is a crack fic, so anything can happen. Random. I was going to extend this chapter and let you guys see what happens with Sasuke and Hinata. I have some great ideas in the future, like Sasuke becoming anorexic and all that.

I was thinking of taking some of my new ideas from a story that I'm have come up with partly, in which Neji, Sasuke, and Naruto are all impaired somehow and fall for their next door neighbor's niece, Sakura, in a big mess, involving alot of cash and a very corrupted Orochimaru. Aw shucks, I might as well, give you the summary.

**The Three Pals**

**Meet three pals whose friendship unravels when they fall for the same girl. Together, they've always been an odd, if closely connected, crew: Uchiha Sasuke who can't hear, Naruto can't see and Neji who can't speak. Nothing's ever come between them until now, though they'll soon discover that what they each think they want winds up being nowhere close to what they need...**

This story is based of a movie I saw but is changed with a minor editions as such and will have added ideas of mine making it longer.

It will be a funny story, I tell you, and it involves Naruto clueless blowing up condoms in balloons, which he takes to a kid's birthday party for a gift.

So, should just take the ideas for that story into this one and not post that story? Or should I keep the ideas separate and post that fic?

You, my beloved reviewers decided.

Also, Lee being drunk was an idea from the anime, when he believe he's taking his medicine but it's actually sake and goes crazy and beats the shit out of Kimmaro. So I don't own that and please don't try to sue me.


End file.
